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Personally crave wisdom from others about handling middle-aged struggles, such as existential reckonings, fading relevance, growing a neck like a Salvador Dalí clock plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I read his remarks about hitting fifty during a chat: “Trimming unnecessary clutter is key to enjoying your later years,” he noted. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”

My first thought was: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I know – it’s exactly the kind of thing a mood hoover would say, and that’s because I am one. However, among our group, we favor the term “energy drainer”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

Maybe you belong to this group as well. Are you less the life and soul of the party and more its accountant or undertaker? When you give an exhaustive answer to “How are you?”, does the other person slowly retreat? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Even as popular advice encourages cutting ties with “exhausting” pals, I believe we provide genuine benefits. I imagine a negative type would have voiced caution – or pulled a disapproving expression – when Jamie mentioned his children’s book idea featuring an Indigenous protagonist without proper consultation, potentially averting numerous issues, hurt, and anger. That level of honest feedback is rare among “upbeat” individuals.